Leaving an Impact.

As my Mom continued to struggle with names, dates and other simple facts, she was still determined to treat everyone with respect. A lesson that she had instilled in me since I was little.

When I worked at Mom’s restaurant as a waitress and had difficult customer’s she taught me to kill them with kindness so only they would have to feel bad about their actions. I had learned that Mom would provide free meals to one of the ladies in the community who was fairly poor. She provided opportunities for the kids in the Special Education classes to work in the cafeteria and be part of the team. She would go out of her way to recognize students for their accomplishments. Plus she would never say anything bad about anyone and always willing to go out of her way to help others, was stated over and over in the sympathy cards sent to us. Yes Mom was a remarkable woman who lived a life of kindness, generosity and respect.

Despite her limitations in speech and illness, she still found ways to make the doctors and nurses feel appreciated. It started with their names. Mom believed in calling people by their first name. She was always better at that than me. That tradition continued as every nurse, doctor, housekeeper or other support staff came in she would ask them their name. Even if they were only there probably for one visit to collect blood or transport her for tests, she wanted to know their first name. When she couldn’t remember she would get frustrated. So I soon realized I would need to know everyone’s name as well to help my Mom when she could not remember, but to also show the same respect to the staff.  

Another way Mom would honor the staff is to get to know their stories. She never wanted to have attention directed on her or her problems and instead focused on everybody else. We learned about Holly who didn’t look 40 at all who was planning her son’s wedding. There was Janine who had a cute little boy Tristen. Jeremy worked for the navy for 8 years. Then there was Dr. George.  Her goal was to get him to laugh which she accomplished. With Dr. Mackey she would comment about his ties. Dr. Ruben she would tell him that he was her favorite, because when he talked to her she knew he was telling her the truth and she was in good hands. The list could go on and on as she had teams of doctors, nurses and other support staff that we knew every single one of their names and many of their life stories. Because of Mom’s care for others, Holly came in to see my Mom on her day off. Janine brought her son in so we could meet him. Nurses who were scheduled for other rooms, would still stop in to see how we were doing. Everyone loved my mom and really, how could you not?

Mom was also always good at finding joy and making the best of the situation. Case in point, when one of the guy nurses came into the room. She asked him his name and then asked if he was single. Looking shocked by her question, Mom quickly explained that she wasn’t asking for herself but thought she would use her time in the hospital to find her niece a boyfriend. This became the joke among all the staff. In fact one time the nurses were looking out the window and told Mom that a single guy was walking by but would not recommend him as dating material. My other single cousin then asked for Aunt Carolyn to start looking for her as well. We even sent a photo of one male nurse, but it didn’t amount to anything.

Both of my parents has also taught me the virtue of gratitude. Thank you goes a long way which we would say all the time when staff would help us. When later discharged, my dad brought treats for the whole staff and personalized messages of appreciation were sent to many of the staff as well.

That time in the hospital Mom reminded me of valuable lessons…get to know people’s name, care about people and their stories, laugh at life, make the best of the moments, and show gratitude. Mom might have had difficulties with her words, but not in her ability to touch people’s lives. Before her time in the hospital, Mom gave all she had to her coworkers, church members, community and family. During her time in the hospital her light continued to shine and reached the hospital staff. Even after her passing her legacy lives on and continues to have an impact on lives, especially mine. Thanks Mom.