Great support...rough summer

We were in the Peoria Hospital for four weeks as the doctors tried to identify the source of the infection and how to address the infection. Mom was allergic to penicillin and so doctors had to try various medications. Mom was always a fighter, but the infection really took a toll on Mom. She struggled with reading, writing, walking, eating and all the basics of life.

The first time Mom said she was ready to die was something I don’t think I could have ever prepared myself for. As quickly as she said it was as quickly as I dismissed it and told her not to talk that way as she was going to get better. However as time went on, she would say it often and sometimes I would then continue the talk with her. She would share that she was ready and knew dad and I were in good hands. I would try not cry as I would share how much she meant to me and how blessed I was by her love and friendship. I never got to say everything though, because it was too much to bear. Besides this was just an infection and once the right medicine was administered she would be healed and released home. Hindsight I wish I would have asked so much more and shared more with her.

One day Mom said, “I am having a self-pitty moment.” Considering how well she had handled everything we granted her that time. Dad got her a stuffed animated lion that spoke words about love and care. She sat there and held the lion for a good amount of time. This was a new site as I had never seen Mom in so much despair. Not to make lite of the situation, but she did get fairly pitiful. There was a point where she said she just couldn’t do anything and she couldn’t see. At first I was very concerned that with everything that now her eyesight was going. So I quickly retrieved the nurse to have Mom’s eyes checked out. Testing her, the nurse put a colorful saying on the back of the clipboard. As she walked in Mom started reading the quote. I guess she was ok. She then said she was too sad to eat and she just didn’t want to go on. I then pulled out a chocolate bar and commented that she must not even be hungry enough to eat the candy that I brought. She quickly changed her mind and decided that she could handle at least the candy…lol. Overall though Mom was such a trooper. She got poked so many times in her hands, feet, ankles and arms. She had to get test after test and was getting daily radiation treatments. She was limited what to eat and all of her basic skills were being affected. She was definitely granted a day of self-pity and even her moments to get some extra compassion.

During that time family continued to come and were a huge support and help. Friends, church family members and community members were also so supportive. The number of cards people sent surpassed what I could have ever imagined. The prayers, words of concern and encouragement always provided an extra lift. Pastor Sam came to Peoria to visit twice. They were always timed perfect as they were times Mom would be getting very depressed. He would speak words of encouragement and health. Mom was always worried that she wasn’t good enough to go to heaven (really?). Pastor Sam would calm those fears and remind her how much God loved her. Aunt Darla had come to stay with Mom one night when Dad and I really needed a break. Darla had helped Mom practice writing her name and even danced with her to get her up out of bed.

An unexpected moment of encouragement came from one of the housekeepers. Veronica came into the room to wipe down the room. She overheard Mom wanting to quit and not feeling that anything could help her. Veronica immediately told her to hang in there and that God was not done with her. Veronica sang songs with us and prayed with us. Mom called Veronica the angel God knew she needed for the day.

Singing provided uplifting moments. Although Mom had difficult time talking, reading and remembering, singing songs she was able to do. The doctors said that was common and the power of the songs and melody are easier for the brain to recall. When I was younger, as Mom and I would drive to church we would sing songs. She would sing the main vocal and I would sing back up. Duke of Earl, My Girl, and Blue Moon were some of our favorites. We did not miss a beat and sang away in the room. We also sang You are my Sunshine, Amazing Grace, Jesus loves me, and the Old Rugged Cross. (Thank God one of the cards she got had the words to the Old Rugged Cross, because we botched the words on that one).

The songs really seemed to bring comfort to her. I am sure because it was the moments she did not struggle to articulate the thoughts in her head. The songs also helped me remember the good times and forget for the moment all the challenges we were facing.

We would also joke about day lilies. Mom and Dad had come earlier in the spring to visit me in Manitowoc. Mom helped me plant flowers. She had transplanted many of her Day Lilies. I had asked why they were called Day Lilies. She replied that they only bloom a day. At first I thought she was serious and spoke how bogus that would be to put in all that work just for a day of blooms. So we laughed as the days went by in the hospital that I would miss the one day of blooms. Fortunately the one weekend I went home to pay bills and do payroll, the flowers were in full bloom. I took pictures and showed Mom when I got back to the hospital.

It was imperative to find the glimmers of joy and hope, because that round of four weeks in the Peoria hospital were intense. It was up and down with trying to find the right medicine. There were many sleepless nights and days. It required being there for Mom and Dad and still somehow trying to manage things at my own home and work. It was emotional seeing Mom struggle with life and Dad and I feeling so hopeless. I barely left the room unless it was to take Dad to get something to eat, connect with family and work, or to take a shower. I once in a while stayed at the family care house, but because Mom could not manage much on her own, I would stay with her to help if she needed to go to the bathroom, get something to drink, or if she needed company.

Summer passed by and I wish it would not have been spent in the hospital. However I was blessed to have had so much vacation time and an understanding boss and husband that I was able to be with Mom and Dad every step of the way. It wasn’t easy, but I would have not wanted it any other way. Family, friends, church and hospital staff were a huge part of helping us manage such a difficult time.

Thanks to everyone who helped along the way.