Happy as Can be Anniversary

July 3^rd, the day of my parent’s anniversary. Although last year they had planned to spend it in St. Louis, they celebrated in Peoria at the hospital. This was the fourth day in the hospital and Mom was still struggling with her words and thoughts, but she was definitely getting better. Mom asked me to go get something for Dad out of the gift shop. Candy it was for him. Then dad asked to me to go with him to get her something. Flowers were not allowed on the Intensive Care Unit. So Dad found this animated frog with an umbrella and raincoat stating “Hope you feel better soon.” It would tap its foot, move side to side and sing the song “Singing in the rain.” I mean the whole song. Mom appreciated the gift and showed it and played the song to everyone; family, staff and even the housekeeper. I think it made Dad feel good as it brought some joy to Mom’s face.

That day was good to because many family members came to visit. Rita brought cupcakes for the celebration. We had to get more chairs and the nurses were all invited to come get a cupcake and celebrate. Fortunately Mom’s room was at the end of the hallway, because we were quite loud. It was good to see Mom laughing and enjoying family. This was the Mom I knew. Not only did we have a good time, but I think the staff really enjoyed our family get together as well.

Mom and Dad met at the Octave Restaurant. Mom was a waitress at the time. They married young. They were not rich, but they gave freely. They were opposite in nature, but completed one another. They were not flashy in their relationship, but their love was genuine. They had their struggles, but they stuck through it. They were also faithful to one another. However that day as we were talking about Mom and Dad’s anniversary, Mom started a sentence with, “When I cheated.” We all were like, what? She then continued, “Cheated off the board to know it was July 3^rd and her anniversary.” We all just laughed as we thought maybe this was her moment of confession. During this time she also mentioned that I had only screwed up once in my life. I guess I am glad that she didn’t know or recognize the 500,000 other mistakes I have made.

As Mom was giving me advice for my own marriage, she said it was important to marry my best friend and someone who would make me laugh. Then Mom jokingly said, “I have been married for 35 years and I am just starting to like your Dad.” This was to remind me that there will be the bad and good days.

I have many memories of the good days. Some of the most memorable included the numerous trips we took together. Every year we would go on a family vacation. One year my parents didn’t have a lot of money, but they were still going to have their family vacation. We got into the car and drove as far as we could. We got to Omaha, Nebraska. We had an ice cream cone and then got back in the car and drove back home. I can’t say that the ice cream was special, but the trip left an impression. One year we went to Southern Illinois. Mom and I decided we would walk the two miles to see the “little grand canyon.” When we got there it was of nothing worth seeing. Yet we were determined to make Dad jealous that he did not go with us. We were going to tell him how great it was, but we were laughing so hard it was quite obvious to Dad that it was a big joke. Another time that Mom and I always laughed about was this hotel that we went to. Dad would normally always let Mom and I carry in the luggage and he would already be in the room laying down. This one hotel was different. He was the last in to the room with the luggage. The room had mouse traps in it and I don’t think there were any springs in the bed. The bathroom light sounded like a jet ready to take off. We did not stay long in that room.

Mom and I had our own special trips too. One time she took me and three of my friends to Lake Geneva so we could see Def Leppard. As my Aunt would say how can they know what they are playing if they are deaf. Another year when I was really young, Mom chaperoned a trip to the Chicago Zoo. While having lunch a guy came into the cafeteria screaming and throwing trays. We thought we were going to die. We obviously did not. Mom and I had talked in the last few years to go to Springfield and Door County. We did not make it.

There were many good days between my Mom and Dad and I was fortunate to be part of many of those. This year Mom and Dad would have celebrated 44 years. Today the frog that Dad gave to Mom sits on top of the TV cabinet. The chair that Mom always sat in now sits empty. Pictures of her adorn the living room. Her stuff remains in the drawers and closets. The plants she planted are in full bloom.

As hard as it is for me to lose my Mom, I can only imagine how much more difficult it is to lose your spouse. Dad is doing better than I expected, but obviously struggling as everywhere he turns he is reminded of her. So as much as I write these to bring remembrance and honor to my Mom. Today I want to recognize my Dad and the strength he has shown during this time. It cannot be easy and especially on this day as he spends his first anniversary without the one he loves the most. Please pray for him.